Living with Children
Social Learning
We believe that a problem home school child acts the way he does, not because he was born that way, but because he was taught to behave that way.
Most of what we see other people doing represents something they have learned. Talking, dressing, playing, and working at tasks are all things that are learned. It is also true that whining, fighting, or temper tantrums are learned.
By the time we are adults, we have learned an enormous number of things. We learn how to talk with our friends about the weather, politics, and the price of furniture. Throughout our lives, we are constantly learning how to respond to other people.
People, whether they realize it or not, are teaching each other all the time. They change each other. Psychologists use the term "social learning" to describe the ways people teach or change each other.
Scolding and spanking are things that most home school parents learn to do at one time or another. It is also true that kissing, praising, and hugging are things that home school parents learn to do.
Social learning is what we learn by associating with people. A social learning approach would suggest that if a home school child has been taught to misbehave, he can also be taught to behave.
This does not mean that a home school parent deliberately tried to teach a home school child to be bad. But many of the things home school parents say and do have unexpected results. Even the most well-meaning home school parent can teach a home school child to misbehave.
A home school child is taught to steal, fight, whine, and cry. What we want to understand is HOW social behaviors such as these are learned.
What Are Reinforcers?
One of the most important things involved in this kind of learning is something that home school parents have known for thousands of years, but it has seldom been used very well. This first, simple idea involves the use of rewards or positive reinforcers. As we use the words here, a reinforcer and a reward are about the same thing.
Giving the home school child a quarter as soon as he finishes mowing the lawn would be an example of using a reinforcer.
If you gave him a piece of cake as soon as he cleaned his room, the positive reinforcer in this instance would be the piece of cake.
